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The choice of happiness.

The plight of us humans is so odd and funny. We are taught to be independent, self-reliant, and resilient, to be original - yet we depend on others for our peace, happiness, or love. We become externally dependent on our spouse, children, job, and colleagues… sometimes to the extent that some rash driver random driver we come across on the road, can rob our peace of mind, ruining the day.

All these issues can be successfully overcome if we consciously choose a shift of attention, from outside to inside - to our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Here are a few things one can do when in a ‘stuck’ situation:

Intent to resolve the problem: It’s seen that we humans get too comfortable with the problems that we love to discuss them, cry over them or even sleep over them -and then complain about lack of sleep!!! The intention and the conscious willingness to identify and resolve the core issue, are very important if we want to move forward.

Make the problem a challenge: When we see something like a problem, we see it in the present tense – but when we look at it as a challenge, we look towards the goal and we search for solutions.

Step out of the box: Taking a moment to pause and reflect in the third person, will surely give us a better perspective of our issues. It is like the top view of a maze – we get to see the endpoint and the path towards it.

Interrupt the pattern: Our brain weaves stories, based on our memories. When we are faced with challenges or negative situations, our brain brings in all the negative emotions that we felt in our past in similar situations – resulting in a spiral of negative thoughts and actions resulting in the escalation of the issue. When these unconscious spirals are identified using the stepping-out-of-the-box method, our brain is forced to find new thoughts. We then start to respond with conscious logical actions, rather than unconscious pre-programmed reactions of anger, sadness, hurt, etc.

Clarity on objectives: Be clear on what “you want” not “not want”. When you know about what you want, your mind will come up with the right kind of positive attitude and ideas for attaining it. The energy will come from within and instead of sadness and frustration, you feel hopeful. Anger gets replaced with new perspectives and soon your ‘problems’ will become ‘lessons’ – preparing you for more learnings.


Intend to be happy! Always remember the choice is ours… I find challenges in following the steps please do contact me would be a privilege to support you.

I am a Psychotherapist, Cognitive-behavioural hypnotherapist, and NLP master coach.

To find out more about me and set up a consultation, visit my website:

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